Many a time, we invite people to our events – weddings, birthdays, anniversaries etc.- without really giving a thought to whom and why we have invited them. Personal events like these are for one to celebrate with friends and others they share close relationship with.
However, a closer observation will show you that many times people extend invitations to PERSONALITIES and not to PERSONS. They want that governor, that minister, that LG chairman, that popular businessman, that television and social media star to be present at their events in order to raise the profile of the events. If these high-profile persons are your friends with whom you ordinarily hang out and drink with, there is no problem, but where they’re not, then their presence at your event may simply be mere cosmetic as against for any real celebratory intent.
People are usually inclined to having big names on the list of their guests, not necessarily because they want to celebrate with these guests, but because they want to impress with them. A politician friend once told me of a woman who was planning her wedding anniversary and suggested to him to help her bring some high-profile persons to the event. This woman did not mind the fact that she did not have any previous relationship with these guests she was asking for and might not even have known whom they are or met them before. She was not interested in who would ATTEND her event but in who would GRACE it.
This is why when you watch video documentation of people’s events, you would often observe the intentional practice of trying to capture the faces of the high profile guests that “graced” the occasion. When the visuals are accompanied by commentaries as we often see on television, you are very likely to hear something like “among the guests at the event were who is who in society – politicians, captains of industry, Nollywood stars…”
When the intention is strictly to celebrate and jolly with people close and intimate with us, we would not be interested in cosmetics. For strictly public and impersonal spaces like clubs, concerts and other events open to all members of the public, the case may be different. But when it involves personal events requiring personal invitations, people ordinarily prefer to jolly with those they are already used to. So when the contrary is the case, then something is wrong.
A friend told me years ago how she celebrated her birthday as a youth corps member and invited her Zonal Inspector and local government Chairman. She confessed that with all these high-profile eyes staring at her, she was too timid to be her usual self who would irresistibly dance vigorously to rhythms being produced by the DJ. I simply told her that those guests were not the ideal persons she was to celebrate with in her private events. She had invited PERSONALITIES and not PERSONS who GRACED and not ATTENDED her event. To be sure, in situations like this, both the celebrant and her guests must have felt the awkwardly unreal character of that adventure. While the celebrant felt uneasy being her true self, would her guests feel free doing same before a girl that was supposed to be their much junior subordinate? She must have denied herself an opportunity to really celebrate unless her intention was merely to impress her fellow corps members with her retinue of high-profile guests
More painfully, people’s inclination to impress others in this way makes their events unnecessarily expensive. The amount of money this girl must have spent treating the LG Chairman and the Zonal Inspector must have increased her spending as against what it would have been if she had celebrated only with her fellow corps members and other friends. However, if her intention was to get gifts from these “big” guests, then it becomes a different thing. However, it’s important to point out that when people begin to prioritize material gains in such celebratory events, then it’s no longer strictly celebration but fundraising. I’m not exactly condemning this, but it’s important one is clear and not confused about what they do at any point in time.
This is my meditation this midweek.
Henry Chigozie Duru, PhD, teaches journalism and mass communication at Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Nigeria.
U re doing great doc
More reason I want a simple and strictly on invitation wedding. Emphasis on friendship and not random people that just wants to eat my food
The pressure to belong increases on daily basis. The rate at which folks seeks for attention is alarming. As a result, people seeks to identify with the perceived celebrities in order to feel important. Our relevance lies in the level of positive impact we make in the society.
Untill we recognise the act of simple living, we will continue to pile up pressure on ourselves.
Much appreciated Sir.
It is more rewarding to live a simple and quiet life. Unnecessary public attention is a burden that needs not be.
My Gen Z generation will not count this. The Era of social media fame. Some people just want to trend and nothing more.
All these public shows are just for social media attention. People tend to portray themselves as having the best life and usually in actual fact they don’t. Behind the scenes, the woman selling corn on the street has a more fulfilled life. They only end up deceiving gullible minds like them.
This points to the quest for popularity by being seen with highly placed individuals. The displays the inordinate desire of people to show off or impress on others the idea that they have some sought of high connections that others do not have.
Presently, there is a serous lack of understanding between celebration and fund raising. The two are confusing, maybe because of too much inclination to wealth not minding source and identity crisis.
Human beings and our need to impress each otherš¤£