There is a world of difference between GIVING and GIFTING. GIVING is real and practical but a GIFT is cosmetic and symbolic. This is why we GIVE food but GIFT flower, and when we GIFT food we try to add elegance and style by way of decorative coloured ingredients, exotic plates and cutlery, which all add nothing to the nourishing value of food.
The strange culture whereby we offer less to the poor and more to the rich who may not need it has its origin in our cherishing of GIFTING over GIVING. Attend a “big” man’s birthday or wedding, you will notice that more money and other valuables will be lavished on him, attend that of a common man the same guests who offered more to the “big” man will offer much less.
At events, more food and drinks are served the high and mighty than served common people who actually need it. The high and mighty are always on the priority list hence will never hear the same story of “food has finished” which ordinary people are often at risk of hearing.
GIVING tries to address the beneficiary’s NEED but gifting attempts to impress him. Thus, in GIVING we ask the question, “Is this man in NEED of this food or money?” But in GIFTING we ask the question, “Is this food or money befitting of this man’s social status as a rich man, a chairman of the occasion, a governor etc?”
In GIVING we think about reducing one’s pain and making life better for him, but in GIFTING we pander to one’s sense of importance and vanity. Therefore, GIVING is an act of loving but GIFTING is an act of reverencing and which, if care is not taken, may get too far as to amount to sycophancy.
GIVING is human and practical but GIFTING is cultural and symbolic. GIVING is compassionate but GIFTING is ritualistic as seen when we come to people’s burials and drop a piece of cloth because it is customary.
This is why GIVING is an everyday thing while GIFTING is sometimes seasonal – at birthdays, burials, wedding anniversaries, and during other celebrations like Christmas and New Year.
I must add that while GIVING is always selfless, GIFTING is sometimes selfish. “I’m GIFTING you this thing because you did same to me during my wedding or
because I expect you to do so to me during my own birthday” – the often unmentioned mindset of GIFTING. The same selfish mindset drives a man to GIFT a young girl an expensive phone instead of GIVING her money for school fees which she actually needs. He wants to IMPRESS rather than HELP her.
In our today’s society of VISUALS – where we’re impressed more by what is beautiful and magnificent to the sight than what actually solves needs – we are more at risk of confusing GIFTING with GIVING. A lot of people who give cows at burials or pronounce huge amounts at public donations or “spray” huge amounts of cash at events are believing they are GIVING generously. They may be right or wrong but everyone needs to search his conscience to be sure he’s solving real needs of people and not merely impressing them.
The world will be a better place if we begin to emphasize GIVING over GIFTS. Let’s GIVE more.
This is my meditation this midweek.
Henry Chigozie Duru, PhD, teaches journalism and mass communication at Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Nigeria.
An amazing masterpiece ✨👏💗
This piece is simply an eye opener, and a lesson to those who really want to learn. Perhaps, many of us have been engaging in gifting rather than giving . I think the world needs more of giving than gifting! What do you think? What do say?
Indeed a wholesome masterpiece. Thanks for the lesson projected. Giving is indeed Godly and heaven bound than gifting which is earthly bound.
Kudos!
Inspiring nuggets.
Thanks for this Timely piece of advice sir.
Food for thought! I think everyone is a gifter but not everyone is a giver. Being a giver, you do not expect anything in return. Most times the giving is to people who cannot repay you. A gifter however expects the favour to be returned. So an ulterior motive is usually attached. The true giver is the one that gives in secret not to portray a good profile in the society but is compelled by compassion and love
My take home
Giving is selfless… gifting is selfish
This piece cleared alot of cobwebs in my mind. You can’t stop amazing with your level and direction of thoughts Doc.
May be we will soon have a “Durusian School of Thought” for our easy identification!
You have said it all sir, gifting to impress the rich and wait for reciprocation has been the order of the day.Foods and expensive drinks are shared among the rich in occasions while the poor are left with little or none in most cases. Giving to the poor are seen as a waste of resources because they won’t get anything in return even when they decide to give the poor, cameras and medias will be there to cover it for showcasing.Indeed,everyone really need to search his or her conscience while Gifting or Giving.
This is an inspirational masterpiece. I’m glad to have come across this piece
This is indeed thought provoking