Not rarely do we hear people mention that they do not want their children to suffer, hence their efforts to make all necessary provisions of life for them, especially money and property. Similarly, on the societal level, it is not uncommon to hear people talk about making life better for future generations.
These are all praiseworthy as they emanate from the disposition of love one has for the child, younger siblings, and future generations in general. However, the big question there is: why does it appear that we are going round the same circle, without seeming to really make any real steady progress in making life better for those that come after us. For instance, on many occasions.when I have heard people say, “I will try and do this or do that so that my children won’t suffer as I did,” I would say to them, “remember your parents said the same. Or did they intend you to suffer? Or didn’t they make effort?” Many have given defensive answers to this charge. However, whatever defence one may have for thinking this way, one thing I’m dead sure of is that will continue to go round this circle from generation to generation.
If actually members of preceding generations have been successfully making life easier for the succeeding generations as they seem to attempt, we would have had a world where suffering reduces with time – each new generation having less pain and worries. But the reality is that it is not like that. Each age and time comes with its own peculiar challenges, such that even things put in place to solve old problems end up creating their own problems. For instance, a technology like social media brought to solve old communication challenges now creates its own challenges including.crime, insecurity and mental health issues for which many have committed suicide.
On the individual level, parents may succeed in making money and alleviating the future economic challenges their children may face, but economic challenges are not the only factors breeding unhappiness among humans. We are a very complex being. But then even if economic sufficiency solves a huge part of human problems, only very few people succeed in amassing enough wealth that will continue to pay their children’s bills from the time of their birth, through all their adult life, to their death. There are also those who may be able to afford to leave behind some money and/or properties for their children, and which may help them become economically sufficient if they can build from there and are lucky in the face of life’s many vicissitudes.
However, truth is that only a few persons can afford to “settle” their children with wealth of quite significant quantity that will set them on the path of economic progress. For most people, the pattern is always that they work very hard and manage to train their children, and soon after, they are becoming dependants of their children. In many cases, the older children are expected to help train their younger ones. So, most parents don’t end up succeeding in building a paradise for their children. The most likely exceptions are the bourgeoisie families to which our billionaire businessmen and thieving politicians belong, and their number is very few. In other cases, children of lower and middle class families may end up achieving economic paradise, but then not out of their parents’ resources, but as matter of personal effort and fortune.
However, no matter how economically self-sufficient children may become, they will have to face other challenges which place, age and time have placed on their path. For instance, a rich person in Nigeria of today is facing a peculiar challenge of fear and anxiety not faced by his counterpart of yesterday given the increasing insecurity that is deepening the burden of being wealthy. Again, as society’s expectations grow, more pressure is mounting on the wealthy man of today, with more to come on his counterpart of tomorrow.
But then while most people will prefer the burden of being very wealthy to the burden of being poor, truth remains that only very few among humans will attain a lot of wealth. It has been like that since the time of Abraham and will remain so till the ages are gone. The capitalist structure that sustains competitive accumulation will ensure that only a few hands are in control of the wealth of mankind. There are no two ways about it.
Nonetheless, one cannot deny that individuals and generations past have done a lot to ease the burden of the succeeding generations. Think about the inventions of science that have eased transportation, revolutionalised communication and transformed medicine among other marveling impacts. What of computer and all other machines that are making daily living and work more exciting and productive?
But then why are we not seeming happier? Why is it that one cannot confidently affirm that we are better off than generations past, that we’re suffering less than them? The answer lies in the fact that human happiness goes beyond material provisions. We are a complex being whose happiness depends on a wide range of intricately connected needs including food, air, love, companionship, self-esteem, self-fulfilment etc.
Among all these, love is very critical being that where it exists, the community, the society becomes more humane. Much of what makes us unhappy even in the face of the vast material improvements we have attained in all aspects of our life over generations is absence of love among humans. This is the reason for wars, hatred, envy, antagonisms, quarrels, fights, stealing, murder and betrayals among other ills that are creating misery for humans. Where there is love, there is less greed and primitive acquisition, making material goods to go round as against the current situation where a few fortunate persons continue to amass excessive wealth to the detriment of the majority of humankind.
This reminds me of the song by Diana Ross which we sang at times in our school chapel then during masses. It goes like this: “Reach out and touch somebody’s hand, make the world a better place if you can.” It urges a fraternal handshake, a symbol of love which heals the world and makes it a better place. It did not say build wealth or purchase properties in order to make the world a better place. All these material goods are important, but love adds the ultimate enabler that makes all these goods a real source of happiness rather than misery. Yes, some families whose wealthy parents left huge wealth for have had to endure so much misery as a absence of love made the wealth a source destructive chaos.
Can the world be a better place? Yes it can if we love more!
This is my meditation this midweek.
Henry Chigozie Duru, PhD, teaches journalism and mass communication at Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Nigeria.
Love is the greatest❤️. In our endless struggle for wealth, we end up taking for granted the time we have to share with our loved ones. At their death, we regret and wish we let them know how much they are loved sooner but then its too late and we only end up writing a long epistle about them.
The world can be a better place if we set aside tribalism, nepotism, unheathly quest for wealth and so many social vices. Instead of passing on wealth let us pass on love to our children. Sharing of land has always being an issue and will continue to be an issue in Igboland because there is no love. You leave wealth for your children, they end up being enemies in their share of inheritance
You’re in spirit Linda
Nice one Doc, love is the main thing that can bind and unite humanity such that the future being hoped for can be realised. Absence of love is the reason why we are in pains today in Nigeria and it will continue until there is more empathy and love in the society.