Do You Still Fight?

Do you still fight? This question would have properly been directed to kids if not for the reality that adults still engage in exchange of punches when their experience and maturity ought to have moderated that animalistic side of human behaviour. Unless you have chosen not to be observant, if you do go out everyday, you must have, from time to time, been confronted by ugly scenes of adults fighting or indecorously exchanging harsh words. These scenes have so much become a common sight that they do not seem ugly to our eyes anymore.

Violence is one universal tool which all living things employ for self-assertion in this extremely competitive sphere called life. Thus, all living entitites – from microorganisms to mammals – use the force of violence to secure their interests, whether by way of hunting for prey (as done by humans and carnivorous animals), feeding on host (as done by parasites), and wading off enemies.

However, being more rational than these other beings, humans have, over time, refined the use of violence such that individuals must moderate the manner and extent to which they employ this crude tool. Thus, violence is no longer to be seen as an honourable character of human but as something sub-human, except when it is responsibly used such as when one has to defend self against unjust aggression.

The Social Contract theorists, especially Thomas Hobbes, John Locke and Jean Jacques Rousseau, aptly described indiscriminate use of violence as belonging to “the state of nature.” This is a time when humans were yet to transcend the animalistic level of “might is power”. Like wild beasts, humans relied on physically subduing others to have their way in the natural and social ecosystem. But then came the Social Contract when humans fashioned a more rational, more refined way of living, where law regulates conduct, resolves conflicts and punishes wrongdoing, hence individuals no longer needs to survive by violence.

But in spite of this new way of thinking, violence is yet to depart from human society. Apart from violence coming from criminals and other social deviants, the street, home, workplace, and other domains are dotted by violence coming from “normal” people. Despite our claim of possessing a rationality and decorum that transcend the nature of other animals, violence is, ironically still an ubiquitous element in the human space. Worse, not seldomly do we see capacity to do violence being glorified in our society. “Why can’t you fight?” “Why can’t you slap him back?” “Are you not a man?” “Don’t be a coward, fight back.” These words are heard all the time among us, they’re recurring evidence of how humans have failed to outgrow the allure of violence.

Little wonder people feel the pressure to reply in kind to any act of violence from another, and may also feel pushed to reply with violence even when the offender had not used violence in executing the hostile act. Thus, for instance, provocations by way of harsh words may attract violence reactions from the offended.

What of use of violent words? That one is a common occurrence in our everyday life. Adults do not feel ashamed quarrelling in the street, on a commercial bus, and at other public places. The social media has equally become a sphere for a dance of shame as adult users regularly spew all sorts of violent words.

But who among us has given a thought to the fact that it is indeed more honourable to keep one’s cool in the face of provocations; that it is more in keeping with our supposed rational and refined disposition as a higher animal to refuse to be drawn into quarrels or fights, irrespective of the intensity of the temptation? When we fight or engage in a war of words to demonstrate that we are strong and cannot be subdued or intimidated, we’re ironically showing that we’re indeed weak. Yes, it is easier to lose one’s cool and resort to verbal or physical aggression than to maintain one’s cool in the face of provocation. In other words, it is more difficult to restrain oneself from reacting aggressively to offending acts than actually yielding to the pressure of passion. The former comes from discipline, rationality and refined disposition, while the latter proceeds from our animalistic instincts. Self-restraint is a demonstration of profound inner strength while aggression is an expression of atavistic weakness. One who restrains self is stronger than one who loses control in the face of temptation to resort to aggression.

Choose where you belong to today. Are you among those who easily surrender self to toxic emotions or among those who have chosen to tread the tough path of self-restraint, no matter how tempting the situation may be? It is my conviction that at some point in one’s life, they should be able to demonstrate that they have come of age, by sticking to self-control and firmly resisting all temptations to descend to that lower region of conduct where instincts rather than reason and discipline govern reactions.

This is my meditation this midweek.

Henry Chigozie Duru, PhD, teaches journalism and mass communication at Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka, Nigeria.